


Becoming ONE with Arthur

by ArthurFlecksGirl



Category: Joker (2019)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Love, Philosophy, Romance, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:55:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24233176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArthurFlecksGirl/pseuds/ArthurFlecksGirl
Summary: Arthur is on some new meds,having  a fever and you take care of him.You wish you could become ONE with him, thinking about your unconditional love for him, beliving you shared one body in a former life...
Relationships: Arthur Fleck/You
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	Becoming ONE with Arthur

It was one of those nights everyone warned you about. Everyone who couldnt understand that you choose Arthur as your boyfriend. To you, he wasnt simply your boyfriend. He was your soulmate. His soul and yours, whatever they were made of, were the same. There was something inside of you, something prenatal that recognized him, the very first time you met. It wasnt just you that choosed him as the love of your life. It was a higher force. You truly belived that you knew him from another life. That your souls once shared ONE body and they have been split in two shapes made out of flesh and bones in this life. All you longed for, was to become one again. Not only phisically but spiritually. You belived that you already WERE one but in this life you met Arthur when he was 35 years old and life wasnt kind to him.  
His body and mind has been through so much. His mind deformed and tortured by those who couldnt understand his pure being. Broken by the ones who raised him. A lot of damage has been done and you weren`t there to save him, because the strange ways of life lead you to him 35 years later.  
Sometimes you got angry at the universe. Which cruel force allowed to seperate a soul into two pieces and put them somewhere on the planet. Maybe without a plan even if they ever find each other again. Many times you thought about if you managed to trick the universe by finding him or if it was fate in the first place. That every step, every desicion you every made in life, wonly existet to lead you to the lost part of your very own soul- Arthur Fleck.  
You wanted to belive that it was destined to be as you watched him crawling up under his fave blanket, shivering as your hand caressed his fragie shoulder.  
He wasnt really asleep but he wasnt truly awake eighter. His eyes closed, mumbling feverish words you couldnt clearly make out.  
Arthur was on some new medications because the old ones stopped his appetite up to a dangerous point. He coudnt force himself to eat anymore and lost a lot of weight in a very short amount of time.  
You didnt knew how his body would react to the new meds by now, because he just started to take them. The doctor said he might get some bad reactions due to the medicaton changeover. And it was happening right now.  
You lost a lot of your old friends since you moved in into Arthurs apartment. Some of them didnt even wanted to get to know him after you told them a little bit about him. Arthur wanted you to tell them about his mental issues before they got to meet him. He felt more comfortable if people already knew. So he didnt had to worry about breaking out in laughter or anything that would embarrass him in front of your friends.  
You felt so bad about the fact that they couldnt deal with him. Your best friend felt very uncomfortable as she met him and he started laughing at something sad. You trying to tell her that his laughter was actually him trying to shed tears scared her away.   
You missed your friends but you also felt like they were never really friends if they didnt even try to understand what a pure soul Arthur was and why you loved him more than anything in the world.  
They even thought that he was different from you. Which was a proof taht they didnt even knew how you truly felt inside. Arthur experienced different things in life as you did. His life was much more formed by darkness and it made his mind work differently from others. But still you felt that your soul was one from the very beginning of time.  
And you wouldnt allow this life to seperate the two of you from one another every again.  
No other human being, no time and space, no higher force could ever stop you from being one with him.  
Arthur opened his eyes for a brief moment, mumbeling your name "Y/N...are you still here?" your put your hand on his sweaty forehead, right on the spot where his dark curles kissed his frown. He was burning up. "Of course I am Artie. I won`t leave your side. How are you feeling?" Arthur closed his eyes again.  
"Can I ask you something?"  
"Of course, anything, sweetheart"  
Arthur pulled the blanket up to his chin, he was shivering, although his skin was burning.  
"Could I....could I wear your shirt? The one you wore the day we made love for the first time?"  
You smiled, kissing his sticky forehead.  
"Sure,I will get it for you"  
You headed to the wardrobe and came back with your red shirt. You immediately knew which one he was talking about. It was a couple of weeks ago. You and Arthur lived together for almost a year now but it took him a long time to make his steps when it came to physical intimacy. He craved it. He craved it more than any other person you have ever met in your whole life. But at the same time he was afraid of it. Afraid to let himself go. On bad days afraid of being touched even. Being loved. And sleeping with someone to him felt like giving up control. He had to let go of all the insecurities, all the horrioble memories, all his trust issues. He had to expose himslf in front of you not only in a physical but in a emotional way. To him it kida felt like laying his life in your hands. The only sexual experience he had before you got together was being abused as a child. You couldnt even imagin what kinda damage his soul must have been though.  
He still couldnt belive that it was real. That he was actually loved an valued by another human being. That someone wanted to touch him without hurting him.  
That your touch did nothing but love to him. Your hands exited to caress him in the deepest and purest way it was possible to do with a body made out of flesh and bones. Sometimes you wish you could become bodyless. A pure energy to enter his body and live in it. Just like you did in your past live. Two souls in one body, two souls made of the same matter, existing as one.  
There would be no hands he could be scared of. No body to make him feel intimitated. You would live inside of him like a ghost. Possesing him , filling him with love and strengh. But let him live freely.   
"I found the sweater" you sat down next to him and helped him to sit up. His body was so weak. So drained by the fever and him starving himself due to his meds.  
He held up his arms so you could help him get in your shirt.  
"Should I make you some soup? You know that you really have to eat something, sweetheart?" He nodded, almost to weak to get the shirt on properly.  
Your could feel his sharp bones through the soft fabric of your shirt as you placed a soft kiss upon his shaking upper lip. "I will make you one and help you eating a little bit. Just try to get some more rest. Should I put you some music on while I am in the kitchen?"  
"Yeah" he lied down again, touching the fabric of the shirt he was wearing "I feel much better wearing this. It smells like you" he muttered. "It gives me so much comfort". You put Frank Sinatra`s record on and Fly me to the moon was playing from the corner of the room now.  
Your heart was breaking for the fragile man in front of you as you played with a strain of his curls "You can wear in anytime you want, Arthur." Watching him feeling save in your shirt meant so much to you. It was another proof of how much he loved you, how SAVE he felt with you. Wearing your clothes was his way of coping with intimacy. He was still very shy about it. Some days he just couldnt have sex, even though he wanted to be close to you. Him being abused at a very young age left its marks on his soul. Some nights he would wake up, having flashbacks of hands grabbing him violently. He always calmed down when you took him into your loving embrace, offering him a shelter of unconditional love and comfort. But it would take him days or even weeks to be able to deeply enjoy being touched in a romantic way again.   
You told him that you had a lifetime ahead of you to make him feel more comfortable with it. And even longer. Arthur was so thankful for you to stick with him through all of his issues. You were he only person he ever opened up to the way he did.  
He loved kisses more than anything. As long as you were with him now, he was never scared of a kiss on the lips. Expect him being nervous about his very first kiss. You still remember him stuttering and giggeling. Shaky lips, sweaty palms. It was the most adorabe moment you ever experieced. Kissing you was his way to proof to himself that you were real. That you weren`t just another hallucination he made up in his twisted mind.   
Some days his mind was all over the place and he got really disoriented and he would ask you if all of this was real. And you had to convince him by kissing him as getly and deeply as it was possible. So he could taste you with all his senses. Kissing him always felt like you left this reality. The world just seemed to disappear. All there was, was his taste and the softness of his tongue, the gentle movements of his lips, asking you for more. Asking you to convince his mind taht he was truly loved this time. Asking you to take him in with the bodyless arms of your spirit. Asking you to breathe life into this worn out body. To make everything real. The world. Himself.  
You came back with the hot soup and found him humming quietly to Sinara.Still shaky and weak to the bones.  
"Your soup, Artie. Can you sit up?"  
He opened his sleepy eyes and tried to sit up straight. His messy bed hair falling in his face.  
"I guess so Y/N. Thank you so much for taking care of me"  
You sat down beside him and fed him a spoon of the soup.  
You could tell how hard it was for him to swallow it down and not to throw it up again.  
"Just go slow, okay. You`dont have to hurry. We just wanna make sure you get something in your stomach."  
Arthur nodded and ate another spoon of soup while your hand caressed his back. Drawing gentle circles all over it.  
If only you could enter his body and find the broken pieces of his mind to cure him from the wounds of his past. To cure every broken part that is torturing him. To erase every horrible memories of the poeple who made him this broken man.  
Although he might have been broken in a way you recognized him as a whole. All the broken pieces within him were like broken glass on the ground. Every one of the pieces reflecting the light that came from within.  
Darkness may have formed him over the years. But Arthur himself represented the light itself. Still shining through the cracks of his shattered mind.  
You wanted to kiss along the cracks of his broken parts.  
Your hands a bandage to his wounds. Fresh or healed.  
Watching him trying to get the soup down was heartbreaking. He really tried his best but his sick body made it very difficult for him.  
"Its so hard" he whimpered, his eyes pressed together as you noticed a tear coming out of it.   
"I know, sweetheart. But...yo have to eat something. Your body cant take the starving anymore.I`m here with you. If you have to throw up thats okay. We wil try again and again until you can keep it in. Okay?"  
Arthur cried some more heartbreaking tears while you fed him more soup. His right hand was grabbing the fabric of your shirt he was wearing.  
After every succesful spoon he ate you placed a kiss upon his cheek, telling him how proud you were of him.  
One time the urge to spit it out again was so bad that he threw up on your shirt a little bit. He was so embarrassed by it, he started laughing. Arthur grabbed his throath, trying to stop the laughter, which was so painful you could feel in how much pain he was by looking at his face.  
"Look what I did. I ruined your sweater".  
You put the bowl of soup aside and wrapped your arms around his shaking body "Shhht, Arthur. Its okay. We can clean that up. Dont try to stop your laughter in front of me. Just let it out. It will be much easier then and over soon. Remember what I told you? You NEVER have to feel embarrassed about anything in front of me okay?"  
Yor held him so close, your own body was shaking from his laughter. Your hands caressed his back until the earthquake of his pain was finally over. Arthur sniffled in silence.  
"Its all good, Artie. Look at the bowl. You did eat half of it. Thats a great start. You did so well today."  
Arthur smiled as you placed a gentle kiss on the corner of his lips.  
"Its because I am wearing your sweater" he whispers, his voice slightly raspy from the laughter "It helped me eat".  
He carefully layed down his aching body again, asking you to join him.  
"Would you just lie down with me and wrap your arms around me Y/N?"  
"Of course I will, Arthur. For now until the day we die. And in every possible afterlife"


End file.
